Exceptions? Or the New Standard?

So I have a friend – we’ll call him SB.* He has the baby-face of 17-year-old, but is almost 22, and yet has the eloquence and articulation of a skilled orator well beyond his years. I don’t get to talk to him too often as this young gentleman, though a native Chicagoan, currently lives in Missouri, and is doing military training and getting his education on (do your thang SB!...did I just say “thang”??!). However, when I DO get to talk to him, it’s guaranteed that he will say something profound that will have the wheels in my brain clocking in at 118 MPH (not that they don’t already…but you know!). So needless to say, I definitely was not disappointed by one of our last conversations several days ago.

Per SB, “For exceptional guys, exceptions aren’t exceptions. They’re new standards. So what you usually don’t do is irrelevant.”

Now…read that again.

NICE, right??!! Can you see why this has been stuck in my head?! And I think this can be applied to anyone…guys, girls, family, friends, spouses, co-workers, pets…well maybe not pets…well…no, not pets…unless…nevermind…

But is it true? Do we just make exceptions for the people in our lives? Or are we really setting new standards?

How many times in our life have we gone above and beyond for someone, and yet those measures were never reciprocated back to us? We act in a way we usually don’t or say things we normally wouldn’t. We think because the other person is significant enough, we should go out of our way to treat them significantly. When it’s not returned, we are really just making exceptions in that relationship. You know how it goes - "Well I don't usually do this, but for you, I guess I'll make an exception this once". And then, that one exception turns into eight. You give up or put aside your usual beliefs/traits. And by doing that, you are no longer being who you REALLY are. We try to come up with logical reasons for the one-sided affair. But really? We know better. And we ain't foolin' no one but ourselves. A relationship of ANY kind built on exceptions does not provide stability. If these "exceptions" ceased, would the relationship grow? Probably not. And is it worth the one-sided affair? Definitely not.

However, we all have people in our lives – spouses, significant others, friends, family – who we would wrestle a pride of lions for. And who would do the same in return. And because this is a symbiotic and mutual relationship, I believe it is setting new standards in that relationship. You wouldn’t dream of giving them any less of you, just as you know they wouldn't give you any less.

It's important to have relationships with these high standards. It keeps you striving to be a better person. And the key to a great relationship is that you WANT to be a better person. Personally speaking, I have several friends for who I would walk to the ends of the earth for. I'd walk barefoot across hot coals for. I'd give up chocolate for (but I know they love me enough to never ask me to do this!) and they in turn, if need be, would give me the shirt off their backs (but I wouldn't ask them to...unless it was a really really really cute shirt. Or unless it's a guy and he happens to be some really nice eye candy and I want to see him shirtless...but then I'd probably faint...so nevermind). These standards are established in these relationships, and anything less is not even an option.

So. Until next time, here's to hoping you are setting new standards and NOT making exceptions.

And here's to SB for giving me a reason to ramble on. And I'm sure this won't be the last rambling session caused by SB!

Love,
Bince :)

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Namely…me ;)

--This post is dedicated to one of my loves - May GOD give you the strength, courage, and wisdom at this time to stay true to YOUR standards. And for you, I WOULD give up chocolate :)